After beginning the process of divorce, you might feel like now is as good a time as any to find new love in your life. After all, the end of a marriage is an emotional and lonely experience, even if you were the one who initiated it. Being without a partner in life might feel unsettling, but do not let these feelings prompt you to jump back into the dating scene until your divorce is officially finalized. Otherwise, you might end up inviting a host of other problems into your life. Even the outcome of your divorce agreement could be negatively impacted by this move.
Here are some reasons why you might want to reconsider entering the dating pool for the time being:
- If you have children, it might affect your co-parenting relationship: For divorcing spouses who do not have children, things might be a little easier since they will likely be able to cut all ties once the ink on the divorce papers dry. However, if you share children, you will have to continue to deal with your ex-spouse as a co-parent. Therefore, you might want to do what you can to preserve a friendly relationship with him or her for the benefit of your children. If you end up dating someone early on, before you are even officially divorced, this might create some bad blood between the two of you and your spouse might even suspect you were cheating during your marriage. Do not plant the seeds of adversity by bringing a new partner into the mix so soon.
- It might affect your ability to reach a mutually agreeable settlement: If your spouse sees you dating before the divorce is finalized, this can easily sour friendly negotiations. He or she might become more hostile and unwilling to compromise or cooperate, which could result in a long, drawn-out, and expensive divorce. Spare yourself the trouble, keep the peace, and wait until after you are divorced before you look for a new partner to share your life with.
- It might affect your relationship with your children: Dating someone new will not only affect your co-parenting relationship, but the relationship you have with your children as well. After all, this situation is likely difficult to cope with and they will need you to be more available to them to offer love and support. If you have a new special someone in your life or are spending too much time going out on dates, they might resent you for it and feel like they are being neglected.
- It will only distract you from coping with the end of your marriage: Even if you despised your spouse toward the end of the relationship, chances are you have a lot of feelings regarding the situation that need to be processed. If you start dating so soon, however, you will not have any time to self-reflect or deal with any of the emotions you are experiencing right now. Take some time for yourself.
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If your marriage has reached its end, you need to hire an attorney to help you dissolve your marriage as smoothly as possible. At the DeTommaso Law Group, LLC, our team of divorce attorneys in NJ has the experience and compassion you need to get through this.
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